Tonardo in Singapore. Hurray.

And people wonder why I think that its the end of the world... =X

Forever Friends

Sometimes in life,
You find a special friend;
Some one who changes your life
By being a part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh
Until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
That there really is good in this world.

Someone who convinces you
that there is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is forever friendship.

When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem dark and full.

Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, and the sad times,
and the confused times.

If you turn and walk away
your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way,
your forever friend guides you
and cheers you on.

Your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be a-okay.

And when you find such a friend,
you'll feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.

You have a forever friend for life
and forever has no end.

Chemistry = Love. ... not.

Attraction... Acceptance
Chemistry... Love

While you may be attracted to a person, you may not be able to accept the person for everything that he/she is.
Likewise, while you may have chemistry with a person, there might'n be love in it at all...



Remember one thing; - love isn't something that is developed overnight, nor in a week, nor in a month.

Love is ever-present, but it only manifests itself in situations when called for. When chemistry, attraction, lust and stability fails, love presents itself.
Until that time, you can't tell whether you love a person.

one step,
two step.

=)

*blast off*

Pissed.

Tired....
I'm so tired....

Really apprehensive about work nowadays, especially between the 10-15th of June... It's going to be the most busiest time ever for STOMP because of the anniversary celebrations...

and I'm leaving STOMP for good on the 15th of June.

which is kinda stupid, because most likely every single day during the 10th - 15th of June, I'll be working severe OT, (considering how much I get, it really doesnt make much of a difference), I'll be lugging the camera to 73,253,282,108 different locations all over the island to film people doing silly stuffs. etc. etc.

This being said, I wont be able to claim leave *(I'm gone on the 15th already.. what leave?), on top of sacrificing a hell lot of stuff that I could do.

(i.e. The SP chalet)

Thus, I proclaim that I shall leave SPH on the 10th of June. HA.
Resignation before a cataclysmic, cosmic battle.

Seriously. The amount of work that the editor scheduled out is frightening. I really pity the two poor interns who have to face the massive pile of work.

Today is a pissed entry.
Because I'm pissed.

Somebody (from another department) complained to the STOMP admin and questioned, "Why do the video producers seem like they have so much free time?"

!@^$*_

It reflects only 2 things -
1) The person who said that has NO idea what the job of a video editor is like.
2) The person doesnt work long hours.

Why?
Answer 1) When we render a video, Final Cut Pro is completely disabled as all resources are directed to render the video file. It can take as short as 15 minutes to as long as 2 hours. During which, as we do not have enough editing suites as it is, we watch some videos.

TA-DA.

Answer 2) BECAUSE video editing can take as long as 2 hours, it means that we have to wait till our videos are rendered before we can continue on the next editing task. Which can cut into our "after office" time by tons of hours. (i.e. While you're sleeping in your cosy bed at home, at 12:00 midnight, we could very well still be in office)

complain complain complain.

If you want to complain write to Singapore Seen and say lah.

Jeez. I can't wait to get out of that hellhole.

ARRGH.

I hate stupid people.
I really dislike stupid people.

I think they should ONLY mix with stupid people. So that they will not "accidentally" irritate the hell out of the smarter ones.

GrRRrr.

I loathe stupid people who think they're smart.
I really detest stupid people who think they're smart.

They don't know that they're stupid. But because nobody tells them that they're stupid, they think they're smart.



Can't everybody at SPH incorporate a culture like STOMP?



We work. Without bitching at people. Without staring down at people.
We work happily. Till some people have to spoil everything with their stupidity.



GAAAH.

I dont care. I'm leaving on the 10th. If my leave is not approve, I'll take a 4 day long MC and come back to collect my stuff on friday.

JEEZ.

This is funny. Haha.. got it from Jeremy.

Black Sheep Wall

Arrrgh! Next week is going to be an uber busy week for me! x_X

I just realized that my graduation thingie is on TUESDAY. not WEDNESDAY.

... which my schedule seems to have... errrm.. misplaced. er... um.. yup. its the schedule's fault... not mine...

=X

TUESDAY.

ARGH.. I have to go to the dry cleaners to iron out my suite nicely, go get a neat haircut, do a facial (or whatever it takes to prepare me for the photoshoot)...

*faints.*

TOMORROW.

yup.

Andrew has to do all these tomorrow... He's feeling uber stressed...

I've got to tell my boss that its not wednesday, and its tuesday.... and I think I'm going to mess up everybody's schedule....
.. gomenasai!
.. sumimasan!
=X

Anywayz, Blizzard announced that Starcraft 2 is going to be launched at the end of this year, or at the start of next year...
Being a Starcraft fanatic, I predict the following storylines :

- Kerrigan will fall in love with Rayner.
- Rayner will save Kerrigan from Zerg control
- The Zerg will deciminate and a new, "ultra-cerebrate" will take over the remnent forces.
- The Xel Naga will return
- The Xel Naga will complete a half breed of Protoss/Zerg, to finish their ultimate task of creating the "perfect creation"
- The forces from the original Earth will completely eradicate Kerrigan's army.
- The forces of Earth will sense a problem, and send an ultra army to retaliate. (most likely in expension)
- The Xel Naga half breed will try destroy the zerg and protoss so that they will be the pure "children" of the Xel Naga


weeee!

lol. Haha.. wonder how many of my predictions will come true....


x)

Your Reflection

why do you cry, my dear friend...
has your love forsaken you?
or have you no hand to hold?

why do you shiver, my dear friend...
has the sun stopped shining?
or have fear gripped your fragile soul?

I'm always there,
even if I seem like I'm never around,
my arms has never been made for me.

I've always been here,
even though it seems like I may be a thousand miles away,
my feet have never left your side.

To live, to love, to die.
A vortex that only lives to take,
Can never truly understand.

What it is like to comfort a friend,
To hold him close, like a lover would do so.
To smile when he smiles, to wipe away his tears.

You can never experience life,
Till you experience what life offers you.
Your reflection.

Your reflection, seen in your friends...

- Angel_boY.

Thousandth Entry

Ha. You are currently looking at the 1000th written entry in my blog!!

... my blog
... my blog (echo)
... my blog (some more echo)...

hahahaha... I dont have a calculator now, but I think I would have written about 100,000 words in my blog by now...

xD

oh... my shoulder hurts. alot..
every since I tried a new tactic at the pulley machine... it feels like my lats are constantly cramped.

=/

Bleah. I'm going to run again later.

train stamina.

yup.

You know why.. =)

4|\|DR3\/\/ 54'/5 :

1 dU|\|0 '/ pPL L1|<3 70 U53 L337 70 74L|<. BU7 175 70U9|-|. '/UP.


x)

Try deciphering that.

Echo.

o.O

I have people coming to ask me why are their names on my list... and I have people coming to ask me the opposite...

=X

BlEaeAH~~~ Let me get it clear~!!

*slaps head*

The list that I made is not exhaustive ok?
Especially the part where I put Newbiez into the light category...

haha.. The reason why I put him in there is because, in my lifetime as a friend knowing him, I know him mostly for all the reasons of the "light"..
Its not that he's high profile, but he is respected in the circle, and highly regarded among the SP thread people.. =)

*grins at noobiez*

Solitude : oeeiii.. dont like that leh.. put me into a super difficult position leh you.. =X You're high profile, but dont need to ask me to categorize you can or not... I think you're more light lah.. xD (maybe ultimate.... o.O)

Guest : Haha.. umm.. Its not bad to have friends in the "dark" category, but its just not good to be in their bad books... its kinda like playing with fire.. =X


woah.. never expected my entry to cause such a big uproar....




Oh. and to whosoeverwhateveryournameis,

the offer I give is $150. (for the stated reason)
no more, no less.
the offer I give is $80 (for the aforestated reason, divided by two).

You come to me while I'm working in a drunk and dazed state and expect me to entertain your nonsence?...
omg. PLEASE get a life.



urgh.

Profile Culture. An analysis of the AJ circle.

Most of my friends in the AJ circle would often hear me mention this term called "profile", and no. It usually doesnt have a positive connotation to it.

=X

But its truthfully funny, why the AJ circle is centered so much around this term called "profile" - an unknown form of hierachy that determines the power of an individual to influence the people around them...

The circle contains so much extremities, that if I were to write a book about the life and culture of gays in Singapore, I think I'll end up writing more then the entire World Book Encyclopedia collection that I have at home.
(which has approximately : (3000 pages x 24 books = 72,000 pages) x (200 words x 3 columns) = 540,000 words)

ow. alot.

anywayz. Why is it that this term called profile is so important in the AJ circle? It is not a term that people bestow upon themselves.. Rather, it is a un-title given buy their peers who respect them.

There are three forms of profiles which I can categorize them into
A) Ultimate
B) Dark
C) Light

I'll first start with defining what is a high profile person in the category called "light".
Characteristics :
- Known for their good traits, better known for resolving arguments
- Use their influence to protect, rather then degrade people
- Are more gregorious and outgoing as compared to normal AJs
- People will rise up to their defense if they're being bitched.

The characteristics of a high profile person in the category "dark" isn't the complete antithesis of "light", rather they do not obtain their influence through the same means.
- Known for their power to influence, better known for inducing fear
- Use their influence to demean people, in order to secure themselves
- Are extremely outgoing, but only to a unique group of people
- Few will rise up to defend a "dark" high profile person, but normally these people are already quite "well equipped" to defend themselves.

The characteristics of a high profile person in the "Ultimate" category, is a category I created that isn't quite "light" or "dark", rather its a totally different matter altogether.
- Known for their accomplishments and skills, better known for rooting themselves as a permernant icon in the AJ circle.
- Use their influence to increase awareness of the AJ circle
- Are open and gregarious, able to interact with anybody
- The entire AJ community will definately rise up to protect an "ultimate" profile person.

Ha. I bet for people who've been in the circle as long as me, they'll have quite a number of people who fall into these categories.

I will not mention people whom I think is "dark" (maybe Nickeline might be a good option =X)
but some examples of people whom I thought of when I wrote "light" and "ultimate" are

Light : FitMly, MiRanTz, Newbiez
Ultimate : Kumar, Hossan Leong, Imran.

These people, in my opinion are "high profile", in their own legitimate right... haha

xD

I think I would consider myself heading towards more of the "light" from "darkness". But then again, my "profile" is negligable.

But having a properly defended profile is important, because the AJ community, more often then not, tends to veer towards more people being in the darker side then anything else. So, its important to have people to defend your reputation automatically.

Which is something that having a high profile enable you to do.

Some advantages are :
- Able to enter clubs free
- Able to sit on the counter and have 2 people trying to buy you a drink at one time
- Able to declare (verbal) war on a person
- Able to meet big shots
- Able to attend big events
- Able to destroy a person's ego so utterly that he'll never be able to stand up again
- Able to completely ban a person from entering a certain "district"
- Able to completely excommunicate a person from cliques
- Able to jump from one clique to another easily
- Able to be recognized from afar

... i think there's quite alot of things that I could write..

but there is only one disadvantage I need to write to establish the danger of being high profile.

- Everybody is watching you.


creepy huh?
haha... xD



it is not something that you can care about.
it is something that people give you.
it is not something that you can run away from.
it is something people come to you for.

the circle works in a circle. No matter where you run, you'll end up where you didnt want to be in the first place.

that is how the circle works.
that is how we work.

Suffering

People always tell me, "You're still young, you've got alot more to experience before you become like us, before you know what life is about."

I'll nod my head and agree with them... It is indeed true that I still have a long way to go, and those people who told me that would probably be long dead before I "experience life".

But secretly inside, I'm sniggering.

... I may not have to manage a company or family, deal with finance and taxes...

But I've tread paths that are unimaginable to most of these people. At least for my age...



I'm young.. but I've seen things that I shouldnt have seen for my age...

I've seen friends who have been with you through the good times and the bad, lose hope, lose everything.... from cheerful souls to despondent individuals...
Addicted to drugs...
Dying from incurable diseases...

I've seen people bashed to a pulp, blinded in one eye and have pieces of their own ears stuffed in their mouths.

I've seen big time gang leaders, and I've shook hands with two presidents...

I've been lost in jungles and lost overseas, in a sea of people who can't speak your language or understand what you're trying to say.
With only $10 in your hands, how are you going to get back?

I've plunged from being the bottom in the class to being the top few in the school...

I've snitched scholorships and lost them....




You want to experience what I went through?
Haha... sure. Go ahead. But I paid a heavy price for everything I felt and saw...

People who know me well would classify me as an adverse cynic.

But they dont really understand when I tell them that I barely made it through every obstacle...




Pain... I realize that pain is nothing.
Pain only makes you stronger.
Pain only makes you realize that you are still living. Still living on this earth.

Do you know what is real suffering?

Its hopelessness.
Like a victim dying of cancer.
Like a friend dying of HIV.

Suffering is when you realize that there is no second chance.
Suffering is when you realize that you have wasted your last chance, and all that is ahead of you is darkness...
Suffering is when you have a wound, a deep wound that you know will never heal...

Suffering is hopelessness.




I still feel a vacuum.
A consuming darkness that is perpetually there, like a shadow that never leaves...

I find myself incapable to love sometimes...
Everytime I try, I am counterbalanced by fear.

Its worse then fear... Its terror.

Its guilt. Its frustration. Its anger.

Its everything that I vowed not to be, and yet consumes me at the same time...


You wont understand...
Nobody would.

I feel so alone sometimes...












... maybe I should turn straight...

... but I think I'd be hurting the girl more then...

... nobody deserves to suffer because of my suffering...








*cries*

TANK Overdose! (you can tell from the new song as well)

Mei you shui neng ba ni....

*cough*

Haha.. recently I've been listening to too much TANK. wahaha.... I went saw him like 5 days in a row lah!
- Concert at HCJC
- Concert at RP
- Gaming with fans at IMM
- Interview with 100.3
- Charity Concert

haha... I think he also see my face until sian liaw... Even his hardcore fans only can see him like for a few days only lor!

wahahaha.. lucky me...

Seriously, I didnt know ANY of his songs... (or at least I thought I didnt know), until i went to his concert in HCJC... Which was my first encounter..
haha... fell in love with his ballads....

Though I felt that his fast songs were pretty good too.. lolz!

And for tomorrow, plus the whole of next week, I'll be editing THIRTEEN seperate videos of him, his songs and his interviews on Stompcast.
I think I'll get a headache just listening to his songs....

btw. I just put his most famous song, Zhuan Shi Tian Shi (My Personal Angel) on my blog, which is the song that keeps playing in my brain like a broken recorder.
Seriously. It grows on you, in you and all over you... without even realizing it, I'm humming it to myself while reading up on Urza and Mishra (Magic the Gathering).

but... I really think that its not going to last for very long on my blog coz I'll most likely take it down a day-or-two into my editing projects, coz I'll be listening to it until I puke...

=X

talk about songs that makes you puke.

=/

OOooooh. Actually, forgot to mention this. I'm typing this on a super powerful computer. WHAT super powerful computer?
oh.
i forgot to mention. MINE!!

muahahaha!!
*evil laughter*
(echo)*even more evil laughter*

Due to my tinkering and overclocking prowess, I sucessfully made my old computer into a pile of scrap metal.
Dont laugh.

HOW was I to know that when you overclock your system, you risk destroying your power supply and cause your mother board to heat up and fuse together?

=X

Anywayz, I salvaged every single spare part I could use from the previous computer and made my pilgramage to Sim Lim Square.

haggled down a total of 10 components, costing $1600 down to a mere $1200, pissed of 5 different shop owners and laughed at the guillibilty of some old uncles buying ball mice.

mouse.

mice.

eh. whats the plural of mouse. mice? mice... *cough* ok.

Ok. My computer specifications are as follows!

1. Intel Pentium CoreIIduo 2.66GHZ (Direct from Intel)
2. Gigabyte S-Series 986, ultra silent, low hum.
3. Nvadia 8 Series, 8500 Ultrasilent 512 MB
4. Kingston 3 x 1 DDR2 RAM
5. Additional 250 GB storage.
6. New CoolerMaster 500W True Power Ultra
7. New 24x DVD RW With dual side writing capability.
8. Realtek Graphical Music 4.0 Channel System Soundcard

which brings me up to a power that enables me to play Heroes of Might and Magic 5 without blinking.
Load DoTA 6.43b in 3 seconds.
and watch porn without my com hanging.

(ok. The last sentance was a gross joke. We all know that Andrew doesnt watch porn. Yup. He doesnt watch porn. *cough* remember that well)

.
..
...

you didnt believe that did you.

hmph.

haha..

Well, still a big thank you to my dad for offering to pay half of that immensive amount of money, or I'd be beyond broke and crying my ass out.

.. or I'd just end up with a really lousy computer.



bleah~



Nobody can take you away from me.
From my side, in my heart.
Cause you're an angel that belongs to me.
Me only.

I'll show you I can fly....

dejection.

Hey dudez.. sorry I havn't been updating recently.. I'm like filled to the brim with work.

and more work.
and even more work.

Heck. Even beavers dont work as much as me.

Anyway. I'm a TANK convert. Haha.. xD
I'm so loving his songs now... but I'm getting a bit tired of listening to Zhuan Shi Tian Shi over and over again...

... incidentally, I'll be going to film him this evening AGAIN, at RP. (which makes it he 5th time I'm filming him....)


feeling abit under the weather today...
I think its still because of yesterday...

I read something that I shouldnt have read... and became really sad...

just. sad.

Its not that person's fault, nor is it mine. But its just sad.

Especially when you feel.... sigh. I dont know... Dejected? Its like after you did so much, sometimes... you wonder whether people actually see anything in it...

=/

Everything just came to pieces... It felt like a minor version of a heartbreak. But.... still it hurt.

... a bit...

='/



I just can't help but feel like last week was another one of those "dark weeks", where nothing really seem to turn out right...
Coincidentally, and ironically, it was also my birthday week.

I have a friend who felt really sad when I went clubbing on monday without him... I felt really guilty for not asking him if he wanted to come along, but the thing is, I only made the decision to go very late in the evening....
=/

I thought that he'd be busy... and didnt cross my mind to call him down... =/
... sorry..


I'm still the same Andrew that has always been.... and always will be...












To all those who wished me happy birthday, a BIG, BIG thank you for remembering my one special day in the year...

To those that bought me everything cute, funny, practical, wierd or interesting stuffs, thanks for every single little thing, and a BIGGER hug for knowing what I like... =)

To those that forgot my birthday, dont worry. I wont forget yours.







oh. Andrew's computer is currently under repair (due to overclocking), and he will be unavailable online except during office hours for the next 2 days...
=/


... and he's still feeling very moody..

50 stuffsz...

: Okay this is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS... type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it!

1. Beer: I HATE BEER.

2. Food: Anything really really strange an unusual

3. Relationships: Everything

4. Your CRUSH: umm... Joel?.. =X

5. Power Rangers: gosh.

6. Life: 2 decades down

7. Men: Coolest creatures on earth.

8. Rubber: Durex?

9. The President: George Bush sucks.

10. Yummy : Umi Sushi!

11. Cars: Porche sports car..

12. Movie: SPIDER MAN 3

13. Halloween: Pumpkin

14. Sex: Hot.

15. Religion: God

16. Myspace: Sharina Bynes

17. Fear: Failure

18. marriage: I wish.. can't

19. Blondes: Guy blondes are smart. AND hot.

20. SLIPPERS: Just bought a pair

21. SHOES: soccer

22. Asians: smart

23: Pass time: reading

24. One night stands: hmm..

25: Cell Phone: I need a non-camera phone.

27: Smoke: HATE em

28: FANTASY: being with the ideal person i love.

29: COLLEGE: SAJC

30: Highschool Life: Violent.

31. Pyjamas: Can't survive without it. (lolz)

32. stars: beautiful

33. Fitness Center: nosebleed.

34. Alcohol: gets me drunk.

35. The word love: commitment.

36. Friends: love em

37. Money: can't get enough!

38. Heartache: sigh.

39. Time: 11:55 pm

40. Divorce: what divorce without marriage

41. Dogs: German Shepherd, Golden Retriever

42. Undies: tired of boxers.

43. Parents: love em

44. Babies: noisy buggers. but cute.

45. Stripper: could i be one, one day?.. lolz

46. Blogs: penning down my thoughts

47. News: live in them

48. Weddings: doubt it'll ever be able to happen

49. Pizza: Oishii pizz..a

50. kleenex: too much korean drama. or too much korean guys.

The clock struck 12. I'm 20 now...

AHHHH!!!!

AHHHH!!!!

AHHHH!!!!

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SCREAMS*


I'm 20.... I'M T-W-E-N-T-Y !!!!

With a capital T in front! ARRGH...

I'm scared. I'm frightened... I can't believe that I am entering the SECOND DECADE of my life already.

so soon? Teenage life is over?

I'm no longer a teen?

I dont want to be an adult... I hate growing up!!!


*cries*


... I cried a bit on the train just now...
... I just couldnt believe that I'm my teenage life is over, and I'm officially called an adult now..

my birthday.

my 20th birthday to be exact..


I feel so damm freaking old. OLD you know...

*cries*



I dont wanna grow up..
.......... sigh













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I see it all the time... but its kinda depressing when you receive it yah...

12 hours to midnight

Q : "Whats the speed limit when having sex?"
A : "68 - Because at 69 they'll have to stop and u turn"

xD

Hahahahah.. Kumar is like so freaking funny lah!!

Bastian, Edger, Marcus, Alvin, Yongsheng, Jasper, Youjin, Edwin and me were at Tabs last night! Haha.. Kumar was like the guest performer and (s)he came out with long-sadako looking hair and flaying it about like a Beyonce wannabe. Causing the whole crowd to brust out laughing...

"Singapore is gay country. Our minister also say gay normal, our national animal also is bapok one. See lah! Merlion, half fish half lion see?"

Funny lah. Super hilarious... But then he came out like for 15 mins only... =X


=X




... less then 12 hours left till I officially turn 20...
... I love everybody...

... bye bye teenage life...

... bye bye running around playing block catching...

... bye bye school life...

... bye bye irresponsibility...

... bye bye bye bye...


=/


I dont want to grow up...
When people always expect me to do stuff that "grown ups" will do.


ARRGH.


quit it.... I'd rather be sleeping forever...